How To Plan A Wedding in 30 Steps

First 5 Steps

Congratulations on your engagement! How was the proposal? Was it all you've ever dreamed? At this point, you are probably still on cloud nine after announcing your engagement proposal to your parents, family, and friends. Even with the pandemic, nothing can stop two people in-love from planning their future together.

So you're engaged, now what? Here are a few steps that should help you plan for your special day.

1.Set a wedding budget and stick to that budget!

Before you start creating Pinterest boards and deciding what to wear, you have to set a budget. When I say set a budget, I mean you set a realistic budget. Today, outdoor weddings are on top of bride and groom's lists due to limited gatherings. This may help with your budget, where instead of 300 guests, you may have 100. However, if you are looking for a New York City rooftop wedding to incorporate the New York City skyline, then you may be looking at Tribeca 360, Ramscale, Gary's Loft, 620 Loft & Garden, or the Manhattan Penthouse on Fifth Avenue. Even if you were looking at the outer boroughs from The Foundry, The Penthouse at Ravel Hotel, or the classic Terrace on the Park, you still need to consider that a substantial part of your budget needs to cover the venue cost. It's not just a room you're renting for your special day, but the waitstaff, insurance, the food, and more. 

2.Insure your wedding ring!

You may think you will never need insurance for your ring, but it's better to have peace of mind. It could get stolen, you may lose it if you took it off to wash your hands, or you may bang your hand on a wall or a railing, and the jewel could fall out. You're wearing a beautiful token of love from your fiance; shouldn't you make sure it stays safe? You can use your renter's or home owner's insurance to help cover a portion of the ring's worth. My husband uses a company specializing in jewelry insurance, which covers the ring's cost if it is lost or stolen. We've been married for over 10 years, and he has kept paying for my ring's insurance. Over the years, we've added additional jewelry to the list that's covered. 

3.Decide on your wedding timeline.

When did you want to get married? If you want a summer wedding, and you were engaged during the holidays, will it be possible for you to pull off a wedding in a few months, or does waiting until the following summer be better? Do you have the finances, or do you need to save for the big day? Most weddings are held a year or a year and a half from the engagement date. For destination weddings, giving your family and friends ample time may help ensure they can attend. If you have key family members you want to be there, can they travel, or do you need to choose a date when they can come to your wedding? You may also consider what else is happening during the dates you'd like to get married, so make sure nothing is conflicting, like a family or work event. Write down a few dates that will work for you both. Do not be too much in love with a wedding date because the venues you may want may not have that one day available. So for whatever reasons, you must have that 02/02/22, 02/22/22 wedding date, be prepared for that date to possibly be not viable.

4.Create your guest list.

This goes in conjunction with your timeline, so the top of the list includes the must-have family and friends that must attend. I've had couples who chose their wedding date based not just on their family's availability but also on their best friend or mentor. Once you have the must-have family and friends, write down the rest of your guest list. You're basically making a list of tiers from your must-haves to a "B" or "C" list. What you envision for your wedding may affect this number. If you want a more intimate wedding, you may not need to add your distant family members you've never seen or your co-workers. If you want an adults-only vibe, then maybe kids wouldn't be included. If you want a large gathering of everyone you know for a big bash, then go ahead and include everyone. You also need to consider your guest's plus ones. Your guest list may or may not include people that are important to your parents, so speak with your parents and have an honest discussion as to who needs to be invited. However, after making your tiers look at these numbers, the total may or may not fit the venue you want. The venue usually has a minimum and maximum number that you have to consider, so you might need to add more guests if you're not meeting the guest count for the venues you want, or you may need to reduce if the venue is at max capacity. However, remember Step 1 above. Stick to your budget! The more guests you add, the bigger the funding you need.

Tips: Color coordinate your list! Purple for you, Blue for your future spouse, yellow for mutual friends, orange for co-workers, etc. This helps when creating seating charts and follow-ups for those missing RSVPs. Keep your spreadsheet of your guest's name, addresses, phone numbers, etc., for future use, from Thank you cards, keeping track of gifts, noting who's invited to the bridal shower, and in the future, to baby showers, and more. 

Note: Your guest list may be affected by your State’s current Covid-19 safety mandates and laws. Check with your local government for any updates. As of March 15, 2021, larger weddings can resume in New York State. Governor Cuomo stated 150 people can be in attendance or 50% of the venue’s capacity. Everyone must submit proof of a negative COVID-19 test.

5.Decide where or what approximate location you want to get married.

You've made your guest list; now you need to determine if your guests are all traveling to a destination wedding, the city where you live, or the town where you grew up. Most couples from different States determine which city to hold their wedding based on where most of the guests are located. If most of the bride's family and friends of 125 live in Long Island, New York, but the groom's family and friends of 75 live in Newport, RI, they may decide for the wedding to take place closer to the bride's family. So instead of a Newport Mansion, the wedding may take place at Oheka Castle in Long Island and have their iconic photos be photographed where Leonardo Dicaprio set foot on the grounds of the castle in "The Great Gatsby." However, if one of the groom's parents cannot travel far, the wedding may take place closer to his parents, while the New Yorkers enjoy a destination wedding by the sea.

Hope this helps with your wedding planning. Let’s stop here for now so you can focus on getting the first five steps done. Click HERE for steps 6-10 out of 30 of How To Plan Your Wedding!

Additional resources for couples: Click Here